I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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