Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no you cant smoke seaweed
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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