i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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