he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
