She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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