What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
