this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
