i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize