this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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