...so i touched it.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
