see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
