Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
