when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
