She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
