She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
