My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im holly from the hills drunk
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
