Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
