i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
