yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
