the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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