I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
