i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
try to milk me bitch
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