You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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