It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
