They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
