I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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