And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
