Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
