Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This beer is not sobering me up at all
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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