I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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