Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
high people should be assigned attendants
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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