Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
