end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
