You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
