im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
