Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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