I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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