walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
