Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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