It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
