Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
