omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
