I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
