he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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