how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
