yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
