i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
