yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
