Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im holly from the hills drunk
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
