Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
