Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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