the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
