Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
