One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I love having hate sex.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
