What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
