they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
