So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
