this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
