...so i touched it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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