All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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